A good update

You would think that my absence for the last week means that I’ve lost sight of things, but the truth is that I’ve really been busy, and I haven’t lost sight of anything. In fact, on Saturday, I had a triumph: I ran my first timed 5K in 31:42. That’s 10:13 min per mile! I was, needless to say, THRILLED that I did it. And I’m already excited about my next chance to run a 5K. I’m not sure when that will be – maybe not until the spring – but I loved the energy and the excitement of running with a huge crowd of people. I was so nervous before the gun off, and then felt like I was going to accidentally overexert myself in the first five minutes. I forced myself to listen to my body and find my pace, without paying attention to the people passing me or the people I was passing. I took careful strides, listened to my music and concentrated on my breathing.

The biggest triumph? I didn’t take a single step at a walking pace – I jogged the entire way! I was so worried I would allow myself to slow down, but I didn’t. I kept my pace and felt good up until the very end of the race. Now that I know I can do it, I’m going to try again this week on one of the courses I have worked out around town, and see if I can run it without stopping. It helps when I have someone to run with, however, and Greg isn’t big on running.

I definitely felt like a rock star after that was done. Now, if I had only stopped acting like a rock star, it would have been all right. Unfortunately, I drank and ate for the rest of the day, and nothing that held a lot of nutritional value. That was a mistake. I could have done so much better.

I think I’m going to return to weekly goals now that I’ve gotten myself back in the swing (sort of), but continue updating throughout the week. So this week’s goals:

1. Bring my lunch and avoid the company cafeteria to reduce calorie intake as much as possible - no desserts at work other than fruit!
2. Drink coffee black if I drink it at all.
3. Try running 3.1 miles without stopping at least twice during the week. (Tuesday and Friday?)
4. Go to the gym twice during the week. (Thursday and Saturday?)
5. Start doing exercises while reading – bicep curls, squats, lunges, leg raises, etc.

That’s a hefty list, but it’s doable and by no means too much for a single week. I’ve only got a little over a month left to get my butt in gear for this wedding. I haven’t tried on the dress recently, but I have a feeling I’m on the right track.

Day 2 - Good Beginnings

I got home yesterday, and followed my own advice. I put on my running shoes, and I got outside. My stomach growling, I started to run. I only lasted 12 minutes before I had to walk. Knowing that this was not going to be a good run, I instead decided to do my own version of intervals. I walked for a minute or two, then ran as far and as fast as I could run, walked again, ran again. I kept it up for almost 45 minutes, which was the only redeeming factor of the workout. I got home grumpy, and was grumpy with Greg because not only was I hot, tired and had a lousy run, but the kitchen was filthy, and I was going to have to start making dinner. (I had secretly hoped Greg would start it while I was on the run, but it was not to be…)

A quick look at my goals from yesterday:

1. No drinks other than water and Emergen-C for the rest of the day, and plenty of water at that.
I did have a cup of chamomile tea with a bit of honey when I was going to bed, but I’m not at all ashamed or bothered by that tiny slip. Tea is good for me, and the honey isn’t bad, either.
2. The first thing I do when arriving home is put on my workout clothes and go for a 30-40 minute jog. No wimping out.
Done.
3. Dinner will be chicken, rice and vegetables. No sauces. No seconds. Keep the portion small.
I had exactly that. No sauces, no seconds. Lots of protein, broccoli and cauliflower. Very small portion of rice.
4. No after-dinner treat. Chew gum or brush my teeth, and be done with it. No more “I’m craving something sweet” as an excuse to eat something stupid.
Again, I did it. I brushed my teeth shortly after dinner, making my mouth feel clean and sweet, and leaving me with no excuse to dirty it up again with something I didn’t need.
5. Don’t think about being hungry, because I’ll have given my body plenty of fuel, and there’s no reason to think otherwise.
I didn’t, and I wasn’t, and I went to bed satisfied and not craving anything.

So today, I’m hell bent on doing it again. I ate a modest breakfast, I’m currently eating a modest lunch. Greg is making chicken curry for dinner, which only has the downfall of using coconut milk, high in saturated fat, but combined with lots of spices and grated carrot, the sauce is delicious and certainly healthier than one I would get at a restaurant.

When I get off work, I’m going straight to the gym to do a Body Pump class – one solid hour of muscle toning. I’m on Day 2 of being good, and I’m going to do it up right. I’m not going to make weeklong or monthly goals, because I just disappoint myself, but rather take it day-by-day to ensure that I’m doing what I need to do to make sure each day counts. So here are my goals for the next 24 hours:

1. Give it my all at Body Pump – Use some higher weights, focus on form, and don’t wimp out and miss repetitions.
2. Drink enough water to kill a camel.
3. Spend the evening on my feet – pack for my trip this weekend, pace the floor while reading for class, and find reasons NOT to sit down.
4. Ask Greg to let me serve myself at dinner. He feeds me well – often too well – and I need to make sure I keep my portions down to a reasonable volume to lose weight.
5. Set my alarm for 5:30 tomorrow, and sit up in bed without thinking. Put on my running clothes without thinking. Go outside and run or walk for 20 minutes without thinking.

This weekend is going to be tough. I’m going on a trip to St. Louis with a friend, which means we’ll be eating out and being lazy. I’m going to have to set some boundaries and goals here, because if I don’t, it could become a weekend of gluttony. I can’t afford that. There are only 57 days until I have to fit into my bridesmaid’s dress, and I’m determined to NOT look like I’m a polish sausage in that skirt.

What has happened to me?

I’ve looked at pictures of myself lately and I’ve seen it. The creeping of my weight. The arms that look much flabbier than they did a year ago. The stomach, which used to be almost flat before I got hydrated and fed for the day and it filled out in a gentle curve. The hips – always round, but now much more spherical than ever before. It’s a problem. And stepping on the scale shows a solid 150 lbs; the heaviest I’ve been in my life. Only five pounds more than my typical weight, but I suddenly feel much bigger than I ever have.

I’ve spent the summer in sun dresses and flowing skirts. Not only because I love being girly and feeling breezy during the long, hot summer days, but also because none of my shorts fit properly. The shorts that used to be too big are suddenly a tad too small. The shorts that used to fit now require a lot of maneuvering. And muffin top abounds.

I can’t do it anymore. I can’t watch my weight do this. I cannot let my body get away from me until I feel awful and ugly and unsexy. So it starts today. My daily journal. It starts today. I don’t care that it’ll be a rambling of stupidity or that no one will ever read it. I need to talk about this every day in order to make sure I’m doing something about it. Because if I don’t talk about it every day, I can ignore it, and if I can ignore it, I can let go of myself to a frightening degree. So here are my goals for the next 24 hours. Tomorrow I will be back to talk about how I’ve done.

1. No drinks other than water and Emergen-C for the rest of the day, and plenty of water at that.
2. The first thing I do when arriving home is put on my workout clothes and go for a 30-40 minute jog. No wimping out.
3. Dinner will be chicken, rice and vegetables. No sauces. No seconds. Keep the portion small.
4. No after-dinner treat. Chew gum or brush my teeth, and be done with it. No more “I’m craving something sweet” as an excuse to eat something stupid.
5. Don’t think about being hungry, because I’ll have given my body plenty of fuel, and there’s no reason to thing otherwise.

I can’t keep making excuses. I’m running a 5K in a little over two weeks. I’m in a wedding in two months, and the skirt I’m supposed to wear is looking frightfully small at the moment. None of my jeans fit, and I feel... jiggly. In the worst way.

I’ve said it before, but I’m going to MAKE myself mean it this time. It’s time to get serious.

The Prodigal Gym-Goer Returns

If you’ve read any of this, you know that I’m struggling. With eating, with exercising, with being generally fit. It’s hard, this fitness business. But I’ve got to get back on the wagon, catch the train, or some other euphemism for doing better. I’ve been making a lot of false starts lately, but one of them is bound to not be false, so I’ve got to keep trying.

This week’s update:

• I’ve worked out 3 times this week already, which is great! I went for a jog/walk on both Tuesday and Wednesday morning (I skipped this morning because it was raining), and also did a workout after work on Tuesday. I plan on getting up tomorrow morning (weather permitting) and doing another one. And the Mr. and I are going to the gym tonight. Four workouts and it’s only Thursday. That’s amazing!
• I’ve decided to try a new route with food. For the last couple of years, I’ve done the snacking route. Eat a 10:00 a.m. snack and a 4:00 p.m. snack and then moderate meals in between. The problem is that my meals have not been very moderate. So, I’m cutting the snacks completely. I’ve done well so far this week, with only one snack yesterday afternoon (a banana), so that I could go grocery shopping after work and not be starving.
• I’m saying no to dessert. Or trying to. Nearly every day at work there are cakes and cookies free for the taking. But it’s time for that to be done and over with. For the last couple of weeks, in fact, I’ve been paring down my dessert intake. Rather than taking a piece of cake, I take a bite, on a disposable fork, eat it and throw the fork away. It’s a wasteful use of the fork, but it gets that craving out of the way without causing a huge jump in my calorie intake. I’ve got some low-call ice cream bars at home for days when I really “need” it, and a roll of low-cal shortbread cookies at my desk at work for emergencies.

My two biggest vices to conquer:

• Sleeping in – Don’t read me wrong here – I mean sleeping past 7:00 a.m. on a workday. On the weekends I’m normally up by 8:00, so I don’t count that as a problem. But on weekdays, I need to get up around 6:00 to do a quick jog/run before I get ready for work. Besides getting me exercise, this also relaxes me for the rest of the day. I have more time to get ready, and I spend the run thinking about what I’m going to wear for the day, so my time in the closet isn’t spent agonizing over what to wear.
• Alcohol – I love a stiff drink. Or two. Or five. I keep considering cutting back, giving up, or something. But it’s just not something I WANT to do. When I go out with Greg, I want to have a dirty martini or a glass of wine. When it’s a weekend night, I want to settle in to watch a movie and have a B&B. I like to take a bath and have a glass of white wine. These are my indulgences. The thing is, I know alcohol is packed with calories, has NO nutritional benefits (unless it’s a glass of red wine), and ultimately is doing more harm than good, because I only want another after I’ve finished the first one. I have been pretty good about not drinking on weekdays (It’s hard to do homework and have a glass of wine, anyway.) But the weekends. Oh, the weekends. Help.

It’s the middle of the week, so not exactly goal-setting time, but I’ve proven I don’t keep up with this blog well, so I’m going to set general goals until I update again….

Goals:
1. Work on getting up in the mornings – three mornings (at the least) a week would be great.
2. Continue Tuesday/Thursday evening gym workouts with the Mr.
3. Use Wii Fit to gauge my process
4. Run 2 miles. (I’m currently up to 1.25 miles.)

I'm back. Again.

It’s commitment time.

I’m feeling as huge as a house lately, because I’m not getting exercise or eating within the parameters of someone my size. Therefore, I have gained weight. Not a ton, but at least 5 pounds. Just enough to make all my jeans super tight, and my self esteem hit the bottom floor.

So it’s time to get serious.

Before the wedding, I developed some very respectable eating habits. I wasn’t dieting like crazy but I kept a few rules:

• No cream sauces. Therefore, no cream soups. I didn’t even keep cream in the fridge at home, so as not to tempt myself.
• Eat 5 times a day – Breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, mid-afternoon snack, and dinner. No more, no less.
• Make good choices at lunch – tomato-based soups, salads with no pasta or mayo-based mixtures (chicken or tuna salad, e.g.), and fish were always allowed.
• Whatever we have for dinner, have less of it than I really want. I’ll still be full, but I won’t be bursting, as I am most of the nights after dinner.
• Eating out is a privilege I reserve for other people paying – i.e. unless we’re invited by Greg’s or my parents, we don’t go to restaurants. Well, maybe once every two weeks.
• Pizza is off the table. We’ve had two pizzas in the last week and a half. This is bad news for my body.

So starting today, I make those good choices again. Starting today, starting this very minute, I will be eating better. I’m going to cut down on the pastas and rices and breads. I’ll have extra helpings of the veggies, and do my best to make fresh foods. I’ll make good choices and stop with the desserts (which have become daily and overwhelming).

Then there’s the exercising. For the past three weeks, I’ve been awful about it. So it’s time to make some commitments there, too.

1. Two nights a week, I will go to the gym and work up a good sweat. Running, step classes, body pump and serious power-walking all apply. Elliptical machines do not (I let myself slack too much on them.)
2. I have two pilates DVDs and Wii Fit now. I have no reason not to get up in the mornings and do a mini-workout. (Other than my extreme desire to sleep in.) I have to start getting up.
3. There are opportunities throughout my day to get in a little bit of exercise. Pushups against the bathroom sink at work, a walk with Tonks in the evening before or after dinner, squats or lunges while I read for class – I need to use these to their full advantage. They really make all the difference.

Oh, and I also need to use this blog the way I intended to at the beginning. To post weekly. To make goals. To really pressure myself into doing better. That’s another one I gotta work on.

So here we go, the goals for this week, Monday through Sunday:

1. Get in a real weekend workout. Really.
2. Get up early two mornings this week and either do Wii Fit Yoga or Pilates.
3. Make good choices 4 of the 5 lunches at work this week.
4. Record my meals – not necessarily the calories – and the portions I eat. Decide later whether to post these online.

Wish me luck!

With My Tail Between My Legs

I have this blog so that I will feel at least slightly guilty when I don’t update it regularly, and when I have a fitness misstep, I feel the need to confess it here. In front of my many (ahem) readers.

My fitness goals have sort of gone kaput in the last week and a half. I’ve done a few pilates workouts with my new videos (perfect for cold mornings), but I haven’t made it to the gym once. This has to change. Also in desperate need of changing? My morning schedule. This morning I did not peel myself out of bed until 7:20. That gave me precisely 25 minutes to dress (a 20-minute endeavor in itself), do my makeup, pour the coffee, feed the dog, let the dog out, put everything in my purse, grab a morning snack, hug Greg and get out the door in one piece. Usually I put in a breakfast as well as all of the aforementioned, but this morning it just didn’t happen. I grabbed some breakfast at work, and ate it while sipping on my coffee and working on leftover items from last week.

This is not good. By the time I get to work, I’ve been awaked for less than an hour, I’m running on double-empty, and I haven’t had time to get my mind up to speed. It would be so much better for my sanity if I were up at 6:00, did Pilates, showered, dressed and took my time with breakfast. Even if I got up at 6:30, I would still have time for a relaxed breakfast, time to iron my clothes and a moment to reflect on my husband as he drools on the sheets in his slumber (he rarely gets out of bed before 7:45, and leaves the house precisely 15 minutes later looking chipper and ready to go).

Today I’m running on empty. I stayed up until midnight last night (very late for me), and had an immensely difficult time getting up this morning. Now it’s 4:00 p.m. and I’m crashing. Hard. And I still have 3 hours of babysitting to do this evening…

So, in the interest of time, I will give you my goals for the week in no particular order:

1. Get up at least 3 mornings this week to do Pilates before work.
2. Go to the gym at least 3 times this week to do cardio fitness
3. Make one healthful meal this week that I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty about eating.

Goal Setting/Update

I did pretty well last week. Let’s look at my goals:

1. Go to the gym 3 times this week, and spend at least 30 minutes of each visit on cardio
Done! I went Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday. And each time I did do 30 minutes of cardio. Sadly, at least once, that was all I did.

2. Have one of those 3 visits be a morning workout – before work on a weekday.
Tuesday morning I got my lazy butt out of bed and actually made it to the gym before 6:15! Yay me!

3. Make my arms sore once this week.
Um…. Oops?

I did pretty well, considering. This week is going to be harder. I babysit this evening, I want to watch the inauguration tomorrow evening and Thursday night, Greg and I have signed up to tour a local brewery (yum!) after work. So that leaves only Wednesday evening and Friday evening for workouts. Blah.

But, good news! I entered in a drawing on my favorite fitness website – www.thatsfit.com – and won Pilates DVDs! I’m really excited, as I’ve never tried Pilates. I’m finally living in a house with a big enough living room to accommodate a workout with a video. They should arrive early next week, so I’ll be psyched (wow – did the 80’s just come back?) to try them out. I’m wondering if maybe I can work up enough discipline to get up in the morning and work out in the living room with the DVDs. If I could do that two mornings a week, and then work out at the gym 3 times a week on top of that, I think I would be really starting to shape up. We’ll see.

So, in the interest of looking ahead, I’m going to get my second week of goals.

1. Get up at least 1 morning this week to workout before work, but shoot for 2 mornings.
2. Make my arms sore at least once this week. (Really, do it. Or it will be a goal again next week.)
3. Take a spinning class once this week.
4. Drink a glass of water each night after I get home.

That’s it! We’ll see how it goes…

Welcome to my nightmare.

Okay, so it’s not so nightmarish. I mean, I’m 25, in the right range of weight for my height and have a fairly thin body. But in the last year of my life, my ability to choose the right foods, drum up some willpower for exercise and really strengthen myself has gone kaput.

Why, you ask? (Or didn’t. I guess I’m the one asking.) Excuses are nothing but that – excuses. But here are some of my flimsy excuses for the flabbiness around my midsection, the sagging arms and the overall loss of energy.

1. I moved from my college town, with my college gym, where I’d established a routine in the last 5 years of fitness. I knew the restaurants with the most health-conscious foods, I knew how long it would take me to do a circuit at my gym, and I felt comfortable. Now I live in a different city, with a different gym and different restaurants. There are all new temptations and (even after a year there), my gym still feels a bit foreign.
2. I got married. As anyone who is married knows, after dieting your ass off before the wedding, the last thing you want to do for the next year is think about dieting again. But I’m cutting myself off at the bend. It’s been 3 wonderful months of matrimony, so it’s time I got myself back into fighting shape.
3. I fell in love. I guess this should come before I got married, but this is just the order I thought of these things in, so sue me. As anyone knows when you fall in love, you get this sudden compulsion to spend every waking moment with your other. And, every sleeping moment. So, getting myself up at 6:00 a.m. got harder and harder, as I wanted nothing more than to spend that extra hour in bed with my honey. But now it’s a habit, and a very bad one at that. My 4-times-a-week routine of morning workouts is a long-gone thing of the past. So sad.
4. I got a new job. At my old job, there was an understanding that twice a day, I would take breaks to scrunch in a 15-minute walk. I would power-walk it around the building I worked in and then run up the six flights of stairs 5 or 6 times a day for 2-minute mini-breaks. At my new job, there are no stairs, and there’s a culture of “stay at your desk for nine hours straight.” Getting up for these kinds of breaks does not seem to be encouraged. Regardless, I haven’t put a lot of effort into finding a way to do it.
   

So, it’s time to do something. A lot of something. But, as I’ve learned with myself in the past, it takes baby steps to do it right. With my other blog, I set weekly goals, and then reported on how I did on accomplishing those goals. I’m starting again. But I’m going to start with a set of long-term goals to give myself direction. Here we go…

Long-term goals
1. Track every ounce of food that passes my lips so I understand when, why and what I’m eating.
2. See a weekly increase in my arm strength, which has gotten to a sad state.
3. Establish a routine that works for me, makes me feel healthy, happy, and not too overwhelmed.
4. Find a way to work small fitness breaks into my day – lunges, squats, stairs or walks; whatever works at my current location.
5. Work fitness into my daily thoughts again, so that it becomes reflex to find a way to work out each and every day, and watch what goes into my mouth.
6. Begin keeping a fitness journal and be one of those dorky women at the gym who carries it around and makes notes as I work out. Record reps, weights, habits, calories burned on cardio machines and overall energy level.

This week’s goals (I usually limit myself to two or three to make them more attainable):
1. Go to the gym 3 times this week, and spend at least 30 minutes of each visit on cardio
2. Have one of those 3 visits be a morning workout – before work on a weekday.
3. Make my arms sore once this week.

This blog will be a place I talk about my setbacks, my efforts at developing a routine, my achievements and generally ramble about fitness. Maybe I’ll post some of the fitness debates that go on in the blogs I read. Maybe I’ll talk about The Biggest Loser, which I’ve become strangely drawn to. Maybe I’ll not post at all during the week and leave everyone hanging. But just watch it, because practically anything could be coming your way.

Wish me the best of luck. And wish my willpower the same, while you’re at it.