Biggest Loser - Season 8

My shameless addiction to the Biggest Loser is being fed again – the new season began and last night I sat and watched the first episode. Good lord, everyone and their moms cried during that show. I admit that I got a little teary-eyed when the one contestant told the story of her ENTIRE FAMILY dying in a car accident two years ago. Seriously – how does she have the energy to get out of bed? That’s an inspirational story, right there.

Though, I do have to admit that I get tired of the intentionally inspirational talks from Bob and Jillian (especially Jillian). They’re just ridiculous. And I usually skip over the deliberation over who’s going home, because really? I don’t care. I just don’t. They all say the same thing – “I think I should stay because my family needs me, because I want to have children, because I want to live a fuller life, blah, blah, blah.”

I think they could shorten the show by a half hour at least and cut out half the talk. I want to see them screaming in the gym, I want to see the challenges, and I want to see their final weights. Really, I wish they’d do the weigh-in in quick succession. A quick-round weigh-in. None of this “suspense” crap, because I’m not really in suspense. I’m just annoyed, so I end up skipping that, too, and just find out who’s below the yellow line.

This will do me good, though. When The Biggest Loser is on, I am more motivated to get out and run, to be active and to drink more water. There’s nothing like looking at a 475-lb woman to remind myself that it happens in little slips here and there.

Favorite moment of the show? Said in sobs “I would just sit on my bathroom floor eating oreos and crying, with the door shut because I didn’t want no one to see me!” If it wasn’t so sad, it would be funny.

I can’t wait to see how their weight loss comes along!

A good update

You would think that my absence for the last week means that I’ve lost sight of things, but the truth is that I’ve really been busy, and I haven’t lost sight of anything. In fact, on Saturday, I had a triumph: I ran my first timed 5K in 31:42. That’s 10:13 min per mile! I was, needless to say, THRILLED that I did it. And I’m already excited about my next chance to run a 5K. I’m not sure when that will be – maybe not until the spring – but I loved the energy and the excitement of running with a huge crowd of people. I was so nervous before the gun off, and then felt like I was going to accidentally overexert myself in the first five minutes. I forced myself to listen to my body and find my pace, without paying attention to the people passing me or the people I was passing. I took careful strides, listened to my music and concentrated on my breathing.

The biggest triumph? I didn’t take a single step at a walking pace – I jogged the entire way! I was so worried I would allow myself to slow down, but I didn’t. I kept my pace and felt good up until the very end of the race. Now that I know I can do it, I’m going to try again this week on one of the courses I have worked out around town, and see if I can run it without stopping. It helps when I have someone to run with, however, and Greg isn’t big on running.

I definitely felt like a rock star after that was done. Now, if I had only stopped acting like a rock star, it would have been all right. Unfortunately, I drank and ate for the rest of the day, and nothing that held a lot of nutritional value. That was a mistake. I could have done so much better.

I think I’m going to return to weekly goals now that I’ve gotten myself back in the swing (sort of), but continue updating throughout the week. So this week’s goals:

1. Bring my lunch and avoid the company cafeteria to reduce calorie intake as much as possible - no desserts at work other than fruit!
2. Drink coffee black if I drink it at all.
3. Try running 3.1 miles without stopping at least twice during the week. (Tuesday and Friday?)
4. Go to the gym twice during the week. (Thursday and Saturday?)
5. Start doing exercises while reading – bicep curls, squats, lunges, leg raises, etc.

That’s a hefty list, but it’s doable and by no means too much for a single week. I’ve only got a little over a month left to get my butt in gear for this wedding. I haven’t tried on the dress recently, but I have a feeling I’m on the right track.

Day 8 – Making It

This weekend had its ups and downs. First, a goal recap:

1. Drink water all day long.
Um…oops? I need to work on this one. 2. Every trip to the bathroom will include 5-10 “countertop pushups” before I wash my hands. (With about 5-10 trips to the bathroom a day when I’m drinking water like crazy results in a hell of a lot of those.)
Since I didn’t drink water like crazy, I didn’t make trips to the bathroom, hence no pushups. L3. Lunch will be meager, and very calculated. No huge taco salads. No greasy sandwiches. Fresh foods, or vegetable soup ONLY.
Lunch was meager, and careful. A small bowl of soup and fruit. 4. Buy healthy snacks to have along journey – nuts, dried fruit, vegetable juice and other things.
My snacks were relatively healthy, but I could have done better. Much better. 5. Rise early in the morning and take a stroll around the hotel, or go for a swim in the pool to get the heart rate up ever so slightly.
We spent ALL day on Saturday walking, walking, walking. So much so that I was actually sore on Sunday.

The rest of the weekend, though? A bust for fitness. I had plans to run, to go try my 5k run again, to get outside and work. Instead, I tackled dishes and cleaning the bathroom, sweeping up the house, and doing the laundry. Nary a run or workout in sight. Tuesday night was much of the same. Although, I did complete a few sets of squats and side bends while reading for school, and took a 20-minute walk with my Mister and the puppy right after work. Not a superb workout, but I did get myself moving, at the very least.

A friend of mine at work recommended a new strategy, however. A few years ago, she was on a huge weight-loss streak. She lost around 50 pounds with diet and exercise, and one of her secrets was her lunch pattern. At our workplace, they offer high-protein shakes made with fuit, fruit sherbet and skim milk. They’re relatively low-calorie, but high in protein and thus fill you up. So, today I’m trying it out. I have at my right a 12-ounce strawberry/blueberry/raspberry shake made with skim milk and orange sherbet and whey protein. Today, I will see if this fills me up long enough to make it to dinner. I have a banana in my purse to supplement. And, well, if we’re going to be really honest, they’re also a giant container of Panera bagels someone brought in sitting very near my desk. I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I’d snuck a half bagel with cream cheese already. But that was a few hours ago, and I don’t feel too guilty about it because, well, it was REALLY good.

So today’s goals:

1. Drink water.
2. After my shake for lunch, don’t eat again until dinner. (The banana is on standby if I get shaky or weak.)
3. Do something active with the kids I’m babysitting tonight – i.e. don’t just sit and watch them play.
4. When I get home, watch an episode of the Tudors or Mythbusters while doing situps, pushups, planks or other exercises. Spend the entire show active. As an alternative, go for a run.
5. Get up at 6:00 tomorrow morning. Sit up and get out of bed. Prove to myself that I CAN get up that early.

Day 3 - Chugging Along... slowly

So, I didn’t do so well in the last 24 hours. This morning was a bust. I had forgotten that I had promised Greg we would go to breakfast. You see, at 3:00 today, I jet out of work early and hop into my car, which I will spend 6 hours in on my way to St. Louis to meet a friend. We’re having an impromptu weekend (okay, so we planned it a month ago – that’s still pretty impromptu for me) to see each other after 4 years. St. Louis is our halfway.

Last night, I did go to the gym and do Body Pump. I packed, and bustled around the house as much as I could, only sitting down for dinner and then laying down on the couch with Greg around 8:30 for a cuddle and some TV. I suppose that’s not too shabby, right? I drank water all afternoon and a glass after I got home, too (a rarity for me).

But I did not get up at 5:30, nor did I try. I did not get out for a walk this morning, nor did I try. I kept trying to psych myself up before bed, thinking “Hey, if I go do this tomorrow morning, Saturday I can be okay with the fact that I won’t get any formal exercise!” But, even that didn’t convince me. I wound up waking at 6:30, and rushing around to get myself ready to go to work and to grab all those last-minute things you remember the morning of your trip.

So, no official exercise today. But tomorrow, with any luck, I’ll be hiking around St. Louis, and running myself ragged. Maybe I’ll even use the stairs at the hotel. But I’ve got to think about today, and not tomorrow. So here are my goals:

1. Drink water all day long.
2. Every trip to the bathroom will include 5-10 “countertop pushups” before I wash my hands. (With about 5-10 trips to the bathroom a day when I’m drinking water like crazy results in a hell of a lot of those.)
3. Lunch will be meager, and very calculated. No huge taco salads. No greasy sandwiches. Fresh foods, or vegetable soup ONLY.
4. Buy healthy snacks to have along journey – nuts, dried fruit, vegetable juice and other things.
5. Rise early in the morning and take a stroll around the hotel, or go for a swim in the pool to get the heart rate up ever so slightly.

Day 2 - Good Beginnings

I got home yesterday, and followed my own advice. I put on my running shoes, and I got outside. My stomach growling, I started to run. I only lasted 12 minutes before I had to walk. Knowing that this was not going to be a good run, I instead decided to do my own version of intervals. I walked for a minute or two, then ran as far and as fast as I could run, walked again, ran again. I kept it up for almost 45 minutes, which was the only redeeming factor of the workout. I got home grumpy, and was grumpy with Greg because not only was I hot, tired and had a lousy run, but the kitchen was filthy, and I was going to have to start making dinner. (I had secretly hoped Greg would start it while I was on the run, but it was not to be…)

A quick look at my goals from yesterday:

1. No drinks other than water and Emergen-C for the rest of the day, and plenty of water at that.
I did have a cup of chamomile tea with a bit of honey when I was going to bed, but I’m not at all ashamed or bothered by that tiny slip. Tea is good for me, and the honey isn’t bad, either.
2. The first thing I do when arriving home is put on my workout clothes and go for a 30-40 minute jog. No wimping out.
Done.
3. Dinner will be chicken, rice and vegetables. No sauces. No seconds. Keep the portion small.
I had exactly that. No sauces, no seconds. Lots of protein, broccoli and cauliflower. Very small portion of rice.
4. No after-dinner treat. Chew gum or brush my teeth, and be done with it. No more “I’m craving something sweet” as an excuse to eat something stupid.
Again, I did it. I brushed my teeth shortly after dinner, making my mouth feel clean and sweet, and leaving me with no excuse to dirty it up again with something I didn’t need.
5. Don’t think about being hungry, because I’ll have given my body plenty of fuel, and there’s no reason to think otherwise.
I didn’t, and I wasn’t, and I went to bed satisfied and not craving anything.

So today, I’m hell bent on doing it again. I ate a modest breakfast, I’m currently eating a modest lunch. Greg is making chicken curry for dinner, which only has the downfall of using coconut milk, high in saturated fat, but combined with lots of spices and grated carrot, the sauce is delicious and certainly healthier than one I would get at a restaurant.

When I get off work, I’m going straight to the gym to do a Body Pump class – one solid hour of muscle toning. I’m on Day 2 of being good, and I’m going to do it up right. I’m not going to make weeklong or monthly goals, because I just disappoint myself, but rather take it day-by-day to ensure that I’m doing what I need to do to make sure each day counts. So here are my goals for the next 24 hours:

1. Give it my all at Body Pump – Use some higher weights, focus on form, and don’t wimp out and miss repetitions.
2. Drink enough water to kill a camel.
3. Spend the evening on my feet – pack for my trip this weekend, pace the floor while reading for class, and find reasons NOT to sit down.
4. Ask Greg to let me serve myself at dinner. He feeds me well – often too well – and I need to make sure I keep my portions down to a reasonable volume to lose weight.
5. Set my alarm for 5:30 tomorrow, and sit up in bed without thinking. Put on my running clothes without thinking. Go outside and run or walk for 20 minutes without thinking.

This weekend is going to be tough. I’m going on a trip to St. Louis with a friend, which means we’ll be eating out and being lazy. I’m going to have to set some boundaries and goals here, because if I don’t, it could become a weekend of gluttony. I can’t afford that. There are only 57 days until I have to fit into my bridesmaid’s dress, and I’m determined to NOT look like I’m a polish sausage in that skirt.

What has happened to me?

I’ve looked at pictures of myself lately and I’ve seen it. The creeping of my weight. The arms that look much flabbier than they did a year ago. The stomach, which used to be almost flat before I got hydrated and fed for the day and it filled out in a gentle curve. The hips – always round, but now much more spherical than ever before. It’s a problem. And stepping on the scale shows a solid 150 lbs; the heaviest I’ve been in my life. Only five pounds more than my typical weight, but I suddenly feel much bigger than I ever have.

I’ve spent the summer in sun dresses and flowing skirts. Not only because I love being girly and feeling breezy during the long, hot summer days, but also because none of my shorts fit properly. The shorts that used to be too big are suddenly a tad too small. The shorts that used to fit now require a lot of maneuvering. And muffin top abounds.

I can’t do it anymore. I can’t watch my weight do this. I cannot let my body get away from me until I feel awful and ugly and unsexy. So it starts today. My daily journal. It starts today. I don’t care that it’ll be a rambling of stupidity or that no one will ever read it. I need to talk about this every day in order to make sure I’m doing something about it. Because if I don’t talk about it every day, I can ignore it, and if I can ignore it, I can let go of myself to a frightening degree. So here are my goals for the next 24 hours. Tomorrow I will be back to talk about how I’ve done.

1. No drinks other than water and Emergen-C for the rest of the day, and plenty of water at that.
2. The first thing I do when arriving home is put on my workout clothes and go for a 30-40 minute jog. No wimping out.
3. Dinner will be chicken, rice and vegetables. No sauces. No seconds. Keep the portion small.
4. No after-dinner treat. Chew gum or brush my teeth, and be done with it. No more “I’m craving something sweet” as an excuse to eat something stupid.
5. Don’t think about being hungry, because I’ll have given my body plenty of fuel, and there’s no reason to thing otherwise.

I can’t keep making excuses. I’m running a 5K in a little over two weeks. I’m in a wedding in two months, and the skirt I’m supposed to wear is looking frightfully small at the moment. None of my jeans fit, and I feel... jiggly. In the worst way.

I’ve said it before, but I’m going to MAKE myself mean it this time. It’s time to get serious.

A Monday success. This is unheard of. Really.

I set my alarm last night, got my exercise clothes out. Arranged my tennis shoes with socks nearby. Agonized over not being able to find my iPod shuffle. Went to bed thinking, “There is NO way I’ll be able to get out of bed for this in the morning.”

The alarm went off at 6:05. My usual confusion over what that noise could be (BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP) was followed by a realization that my dream wasn’t all that great, and really wasn’t worth returning to. So, for the first time in what has probably been years, I got up early on a Monday morning to work out. I was dressed and out the door by 6:09. I was running by 6:12. And I kept at it for a solid 20 minutes – a new record for me. I probably went about a mile and a half, but that’s okay. The fact that I did it at all was what made me so happy. Especially after a weekend of no workouts whatsoever. (It was rainy, I was swamped with schoolwork, and not at all motivated to drive to the gym in a downpour.)

My knee survived all 20 minutes, which is also a first. I’ve learned a couple of new stretches to warm up my IT band before I work out. My goal is to become a runner. A real runner. Someone who can run 5 miles and like it. Someone who doesn’t like to miss a run because it calms me. Someone who hops out of the bed for a run.

I’m thinking I might have to get up just a bit earlier. Have part of a granola bar, a small glass of water and a few minutes for it to settle in my stomach. Because there was a lot of uncomfortable thirst and stomach gurgling as I ran today.

Yesterday I experienced success, and disappointment.

Yesterday afternoon, I looked at a set of goals I made a few weeks ago when I started running again. Here they are:

Running Goals:
By April 30th: Run 1.5 miles at 5.5 mph easily
By May 31: Run 2 miles easily
By June 8: Run 2.5 miles
By June 22: Run 3 miles

June 22 is my birthday, and I want to see what it feels like to run 3 miles before then. I’ve only ever run 3 miles once in my life.

So, after seeing that yesterday, and knowing that I was going to the gym last night, I decided that I’d better try to run 1.5 miles. I hadn’t tried it before yesterday for probably… 2 or 3 years. But, I did it! At 5.5 mph (around an 11-minute mile), I ran 1.5 miles, without batting an eyelash, really. Then, I cranked up the speed a little and exhausted myself before doing my cool-down.

I’d been reading, too, about the knee pain I’ve been having when I run. Turns out it’s my IT band (a band that runs along the outside of the leg), which is rubbing against my knee joint, causing pain. There were three recommendations for helping this pain – stretch, shorten your stride, and buy better shoes. My shoes are awful, so I’m going to have to remedy that soon, but I couldn’t do it right away. But I could shorten my stride and do the stretches needed, so I did those two things, and – miraculously – no knee pain! Nice.

After my excellent achievement, I continued my workout with some squats, stretches, and a few tricep extensions. The great news here is that now I know I can run 1.5 miles, so I can start working my way toward 2 miles.

And for the bad news… I got on the scale before I left. 152 pounds. Yikes. I’m pretty sure that’s the heaviest I’ve ever been. My ideal weight is 138-ish, so I’ve got some serious work to do. So far, though, I’m doing pretty well with my resolutions that I began this week. The last few nights dinners have been light, snacks have been few and far between, water consumption has been up, and I’ve been feeling pretty good. If I can get myself up tomorrow morning to go to the gym, I’ll be doing really good for this week. 5 workouts in a week is awesome. If I do that, I think I’ll give myself Sunday off for some rest.

The Prodigal Gym-Goer Returns

If you’ve read any of this, you know that I’m struggling. With eating, with exercising, with being generally fit. It’s hard, this fitness business. But I’ve got to get back on the wagon, catch the train, or some other euphemism for doing better. I’ve been making a lot of false starts lately, but one of them is bound to not be false, so I’ve got to keep trying.

This week’s update:

• I’ve worked out 3 times this week already, which is great! I went for a jog/walk on both Tuesday and Wednesday morning (I skipped this morning because it was raining), and also did a workout after work on Tuesday. I plan on getting up tomorrow morning (weather permitting) and doing another one. And the Mr. and I are going to the gym tonight. Four workouts and it’s only Thursday. That’s amazing!
• I’ve decided to try a new route with food. For the last couple of years, I’ve done the snacking route. Eat a 10:00 a.m. snack and a 4:00 p.m. snack and then moderate meals in between. The problem is that my meals have not been very moderate. So, I’m cutting the snacks completely. I’ve done well so far this week, with only one snack yesterday afternoon (a banana), so that I could go grocery shopping after work and not be starving.
• I’m saying no to dessert. Or trying to. Nearly every day at work there are cakes and cookies free for the taking. But it’s time for that to be done and over with. For the last couple of weeks, in fact, I’ve been paring down my dessert intake. Rather than taking a piece of cake, I take a bite, on a disposable fork, eat it and throw the fork away. It’s a wasteful use of the fork, but it gets that craving out of the way without causing a huge jump in my calorie intake. I’ve got some low-call ice cream bars at home for days when I really “need” it, and a roll of low-cal shortbread cookies at my desk at work for emergencies.

My two biggest vices to conquer:

• Sleeping in – Don’t read me wrong here – I mean sleeping past 7:00 a.m. on a workday. On the weekends I’m normally up by 8:00, so I don’t count that as a problem. But on weekdays, I need to get up around 6:00 to do a quick jog/run before I get ready for work. Besides getting me exercise, this also relaxes me for the rest of the day. I have more time to get ready, and I spend the run thinking about what I’m going to wear for the day, so my time in the closet isn’t spent agonizing over what to wear.
• Alcohol – I love a stiff drink. Or two. Or five. I keep considering cutting back, giving up, or something. But it’s just not something I WANT to do. When I go out with Greg, I want to have a dirty martini or a glass of wine. When it’s a weekend night, I want to settle in to watch a movie and have a B&B. I like to take a bath and have a glass of white wine. These are my indulgences. The thing is, I know alcohol is packed with calories, has NO nutritional benefits (unless it’s a glass of red wine), and ultimately is doing more harm than good, because I only want another after I’ve finished the first one. I have been pretty good about not drinking on weekdays (It’s hard to do homework and have a glass of wine, anyway.) But the weekends. Oh, the weekends. Help.

It’s the middle of the week, so not exactly goal-setting time, but I’ve proven I don’t keep up with this blog well, so I’m going to set general goals until I update again….

Goals:
1. Work on getting up in the mornings – three mornings (at the least) a week would be great.
2. Continue Tuesday/Thursday evening gym workouts with the Mr.
3. Use Wii Fit to gauge my process
4. Run 2 miles. (I’m currently up to 1.25 miles.)

Keepin' It Real - Food/Weight Log

3/16/09

Weight: 147

Breakfast: Coffee with powdered cream and sugar, string cheese (I was up late, and didn’t have milk for cereal, so I grabbed and went. For shame.)

Snack: Did not get hungry, so waited for lunch.

Lunch: Bowl of chili with 4 small wheat crackers and cheese. 1 Now and Later and 2 pieces of horehound candy.

Snack: Banana

Dinner: Small bowl of beans with beef, 1 piece of irish soda bread, 2 marshmallow peeps.

Exercise: 30 minutes in the evening on Wii Fit, 30 minutes of gardening (I feel like I should put exercise in scare quotes on this one... Didn't feel much like exercise)

Water: 1 glass small at work, 1 large glass at home - Deficiency of at least 4 glasses

I'm back. Again.

It’s commitment time.

I’m feeling as huge as a house lately, because I’m not getting exercise or eating within the parameters of someone my size. Therefore, I have gained weight. Not a ton, but at least 5 pounds. Just enough to make all my jeans super tight, and my self esteem hit the bottom floor.

So it’s time to get serious.

Before the wedding, I developed some very respectable eating habits. I wasn’t dieting like crazy but I kept a few rules:

• No cream sauces. Therefore, no cream soups. I didn’t even keep cream in the fridge at home, so as not to tempt myself.
• Eat 5 times a day – Breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, mid-afternoon snack, and dinner. No more, no less.
• Make good choices at lunch – tomato-based soups, salads with no pasta or mayo-based mixtures (chicken or tuna salad, e.g.), and fish were always allowed.
• Whatever we have for dinner, have less of it than I really want. I’ll still be full, but I won’t be bursting, as I am most of the nights after dinner.
• Eating out is a privilege I reserve for other people paying – i.e. unless we’re invited by Greg’s or my parents, we don’t go to restaurants. Well, maybe once every two weeks.
• Pizza is off the table. We’ve had two pizzas in the last week and a half. This is bad news for my body.

So starting today, I make those good choices again. Starting today, starting this very minute, I will be eating better. I’m going to cut down on the pastas and rices and breads. I’ll have extra helpings of the veggies, and do my best to make fresh foods. I’ll make good choices and stop with the desserts (which have become daily and overwhelming).

Then there’s the exercising. For the past three weeks, I’ve been awful about it. So it’s time to make some commitments there, too.

1. Two nights a week, I will go to the gym and work up a good sweat. Running, step classes, body pump and serious power-walking all apply. Elliptical machines do not (I let myself slack too much on them.)
2. I have two pilates DVDs and Wii Fit now. I have no reason not to get up in the mornings and do a mini-workout. (Other than my extreme desire to sleep in.) I have to start getting up.
3. There are opportunities throughout my day to get in a little bit of exercise. Pushups against the bathroom sink at work, a walk with Tonks in the evening before or after dinner, squats or lunges while I read for class – I need to use these to their full advantage. They really make all the difference.

Oh, and I also need to use this blog the way I intended to at the beginning. To post weekly. To make goals. To really pressure myself into doing better. That’s another one I gotta work on.

So here we go, the goals for this week, Monday through Sunday:

1. Get in a real weekend workout. Really.
2. Get up early two mornings this week and either do Wii Fit Yoga or Pilates.
3. Make good choices 4 of the 5 lunches at work this week.
4. Record my meals – not necessarily the calories – and the portions I eat. Decide later whether to post these online.

Wish me luck!

Healthy Living and Money

In theory, healthy eating is so easy. I know what’s healthy. I know what’s not. Cottage Cheese – great. Cream Cheese – not great. All-white chicken breast without the skin – great. Corned Beef with all the fat – not so good.

When I walk through the lunch line, my eyes flip over things and I see exactly what I should be eating. A small bowl of chili with beans, non-fat yogurt and a piece of fruit. Talapia with a green chili salsa, steamed vegetables and a side salad. But what ends up on my plate? Beef stew in a bread bowl. Pizza. Cheesy, creamy soups and anything with a layer of fat floating on top.

If I were rich, eating healthy would be easy. A cinch. Some days it’s just so hard to get boring fish for $5, when you know that a baked potato with everything is only 85 cents. If I were rich, however, that wouldn’t matter. I’d eat it contentedly. Without complaint. Because I like the way the fish tastes, just not when I know it is $4 more than I’d like to spend.

In fact, fitness altogether would be simpler if I were rich. I’d have a part time job, and make sure I got in exercise each day during the hours I would normally be working a full-time job. I could buy fitness equipment for my home, including a treadmill and a Pilates machine-thingy. I could hire a personal trainer who would then come to my home and ensure I’m actually using the equipment and getting the exercise every day. And forget just buying the food, I’d hire a chef to prepare my meals for me and bring them to my home, so that they would require only minimal preparation.

Yes, if I were rich, I’d probably have an easier time being fit. But what’s the joy in having no challenge?

With My Tail Between My Legs

I have this blog so that I will feel at least slightly guilty when I don’t update it regularly, and when I have a fitness misstep, I feel the need to confess it here. In front of my many (ahem) readers.

My fitness goals have sort of gone kaput in the last week and a half. I’ve done a few pilates workouts with my new videos (perfect for cold mornings), but I haven’t made it to the gym once. This has to change. Also in desperate need of changing? My morning schedule. This morning I did not peel myself out of bed until 7:20. That gave me precisely 25 minutes to dress (a 20-minute endeavor in itself), do my makeup, pour the coffee, feed the dog, let the dog out, put everything in my purse, grab a morning snack, hug Greg and get out the door in one piece. Usually I put in a breakfast as well as all of the aforementioned, but this morning it just didn’t happen. I grabbed some breakfast at work, and ate it while sipping on my coffee and working on leftover items from last week.

This is not good. By the time I get to work, I’ve been awaked for less than an hour, I’m running on double-empty, and I haven’t had time to get my mind up to speed. It would be so much better for my sanity if I were up at 6:00, did Pilates, showered, dressed and took my time with breakfast. Even if I got up at 6:30, I would still have time for a relaxed breakfast, time to iron my clothes and a moment to reflect on my husband as he drools on the sheets in his slumber (he rarely gets out of bed before 7:45, and leaves the house precisely 15 minutes later looking chipper and ready to go).

Today I’m running on empty. I stayed up until midnight last night (very late for me), and had an immensely difficult time getting up this morning. Now it’s 4:00 p.m. and I’m crashing. Hard. And I still have 3 hours of babysitting to do this evening…

So, in the interest of time, I will give you my goals for the week in no particular order:

1. Get up at least 3 mornings this week to do Pilates before work.
2. Go to the gym at least 3 times this week to do cardio fitness
3. Make one healthful meal this week that I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty about eating.

Goal Setting/Update

I did pretty well last week. Let’s look at my goals:

1. Go to the gym 3 times this week, and spend at least 30 minutes of each visit on cardio
Done! I went Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday. And each time I did do 30 minutes of cardio. Sadly, at least once, that was all I did.

2. Have one of those 3 visits be a morning workout – before work on a weekday.
Tuesday morning I got my lazy butt out of bed and actually made it to the gym before 6:15! Yay me!

3. Make my arms sore once this week.
Um…. Oops?

I did pretty well, considering. This week is going to be harder. I babysit this evening, I want to watch the inauguration tomorrow evening and Thursday night, Greg and I have signed up to tour a local brewery (yum!) after work. So that leaves only Wednesday evening and Friday evening for workouts. Blah.

But, good news! I entered in a drawing on my favorite fitness website – www.thatsfit.com – and won Pilates DVDs! I’m really excited, as I’ve never tried Pilates. I’m finally living in a house with a big enough living room to accommodate a workout with a video. They should arrive early next week, so I’ll be psyched (wow – did the 80’s just come back?) to try them out. I’m wondering if maybe I can work up enough discipline to get up in the morning and work out in the living room with the DVDs. If I could do that two mornings a week, and then work out at the gym 3 times a week on top of that, I think I would be really starting to shape up. We’ll see.

So, in the interest of looking ahead, I’m going to get my second week of goals.

1. Get up at least 1 morning this week to workout before work, but shoot for 2 mornings.
2. Make my arms sore at least once this week. (Really, do it. Or it will be a goal again next week.)
3. Take a spinning class once this week.
4. Drink a glass of water each night after I get home.

That’s it! We’ll see how it goes…

La-hoo-Za-Herrrr

I’m weirdly addicted to The Biggest Loser. I’ve told this to very few people, because most people who know me know that I am vocal about my hatred for reality shows. I really, really dislike reality shows.

Except for Biggest Loser. And Project Runway. They are my exceptions.

(I swear if you try to get me to watch a whole episode of MTV reality shows or anything akin to Survivor, I will claw you.)

But I think The Biggest Loser gives many people unhealthy expectations. This is a show were morbidly obese people lose 15 and 20 pounds in a single week. And unless you working out 8 hours a day, that’s all but impossible. On the Biggest Loser, they are doing a lot more work than they let on. Their “last-chance workout” as they call it probably lasts over 4 hours. But for us, it’s a 3-minute blip on the radar.

But the thing that I absolutely love about the show is that it’s all about retraining the mind, the emotions and the habits. Yes, they work out a lot. Yes, they have crazy trainers who scream at them. But they also are taught that you really can’t eat only cheese and meat and somehow magically lose 30 pounds. They’re taught that what you put into your mouth you have to sweat out later.

Another thing I love about the show is that it doesn’t dumb down how hard it is to work out. How much you really have to WANT it to do it right. People cry, they grimace, they whine, they collapse, they cough and sputter and look like they really wish they could die. I certainly don’t advocate exercise this crazy if you’re working at a normal pound-a-week pace. But at least it illustrates a point to all the other couch potatoes: Losing weight isn’t easy. It doesn’t come in pill form, and it probably hurts if you’re doing it right.

Unfortunately, even this show isn’t all sunshine and lollipops. I overheard one obese woman talking to another this morning as our company conducted “health risk assessments” for each employee. Part of the assessment was a height/weight/BMI calculation, and as one overweight woman was being shown her BMI, the other said,

“Oh, just go watch The Biggest Loser. You’ll feel a LOT better about yourself.”

Hrmph. I guess some people will use anything as a vehicle for rationalization. Awesome.

Facts.

In the interest of transparency, I am going to give you some unsolicited information. I’m baring my soul here, people, have the decency to listen.

• I’m 25, turning 26 in January.
• I am 5’6.5”
• I weigh 148 pounds
• My BMI is 23.5

So, looking at these numbers, I seem like a normal-sized person. Not overweight, not underweight, but normal. And I am. I’m not interested in fitness as a fix to a problem, I’m interested in fitness as prevention.

You see, my mother is 59 and obese. She’s been that way for most of my life. She’s always been overweight, but as she gets older, her weight becomes more of a problem. Diabetes, joint problems, high cholesterol and heart conditions run in the family. Both of my mother’s parents died young – mid-50s and mid-60s. So you understand why I worry about her.

And in turn, I worry about myself. My mother was a wonderful mother to my brother and I, and made sure we got exposure to a variety of fruits and vegetables. I never went hungry, and I certainly didn’t see fast-food as a staple around our house. She made healthful meals that introduced me to a way of eating that has kept with me throughout my life. Even now, I have little interest in fast food. But neither does my mother, and her weight has gotten the best of her.

The only difference I can see between the two of us is exercise. My mother, with her bad knees, bad feet, and other physical problems, has a hard time doing any exercise that has impact. Even walking hurts her after a while. She’s doing her best to work around it, but I don’t want to see myself in that place.

Hence, at 23.5 BMI, I am already having a little panic attack. A BMI of 25 is considered overweight, and I have merely 1.5 little points to make it to that place. That’s only 8 pounds away from where I am right now. I gain 8 pounds, and I’m in the “overweight” category. It just won’t do. I can’t have only a cushion of 8 pounds. It has to be more.

So, hence I want to get into shape. Lose around 10 pounds, and get myself to a BMI of 22 or less. That, to me, is healthy. It’s in the middle of the range, giving me a healthy cushion between me and the “overweight” BMI of 25.

So there you have it. That’s why a 25-year old with a healthy weight is so concerned about fitness. The more proactive I am, the greater chance I have of being a healthy 30-year old, a healthy 40-year old, and a healthy 50-year old. I want to see what life looks like when your 80, so I’m not going to let a lack of fitness be the reason I don’t.

Welcome to my nightmare.

Okay, so it’s not so nightmarish. I mean, I’m 25, in the right range of weight for my height and have a fairly thin body. But in the last year of my life, my ability to choose the right foods, drum up some willpower for exercise and really strengthen myself has gone kaput.

Why, you ask? (Or didn’t. I guess I’m the one asking.) Excuses are nothing but that – excuses. But here are some of my flimsy excuses for the flabbiness around my midsection, the sagging arms and the overall loss of energy.

1. I moved from my college town, with my college gym, where I’d established a routine in the last 5 years of fitness. I knew the restaurants with the most health-conscious foods, I knew how long it would take me to do a circuit at my gym, and I felt comfortable. Now I live in a different city, with a different gym and different restaurants. There are all new temptations and (even after a year there), my gym still feels a bit foreign.
2. I got married. As anyone who is married knows, after dieting your ass off before the wedding, the last thing you want to do for the next year is think about dieting again. But I’m cutting myself off at the bend. It’s been 3 wonderful months of matrimony, so it’s time I got myself back into fighting shape.
3. I fell in love. I guess this should come before I got married, but this is just the order I thought of these things in, so sue me. As anyone knows when you fall in love, you get this sudden compulsion to spend every waking moment with your other. And, every sleeping moment. So, getting myself up at 6:00 a.m. got harder and harder, as I wanted nothing more than to spend that extra hour in bed with my honey. But now it’s a habit, and a very bad one at that. My 4-times-a-week routine of morning workouts is a long-gone thing of the past. So sad.
4. I got a new job. At my old job, there was an understanding that twice a day, I would take breaks to scrunch in a 15-minute walk. I would power-walk it around the building I worked in and then run up the six flights of stairs 5 or 6 times a day for 2-minute mini-breaks. At my new job, there are no stairs, and there’s a culture of “stay at your desk for nine hours straight.” Getting up for these kinds of breaks does not seem to be encouraged. Regardless, I haven’t put a lot of effort into finding a way to do it.
   

So, it’s time to do something. A lot of something. But, as I’ve learned with myself in the past, it takes baby steps to do it right. With my other blog, I set weekly goals, and then reported on how I did on accomplishing those goals. I’m starting again. But I’m going to start with a set of long-term goals to give myself direction. Here we go…

Long-term goals
1. Track every ounce of food that passes my lips so I understand when, why and what I’m eating.
2. See a weekly increase in my arm strength, which has gotten to a sad state.
3. Establish a routine that works for me, makes me feel healthy, happy, and not too overwhelmed.
4. Find a way to work small fitness breaks into my day – lunges, squats, stairs or walks; whatever works at my current location.
5. Work fitness into my daily thoughts again, so that it becomes reflex to find a way to work out each and every day, and watch what goes into my mouth.
6. Begin keeping a fitness journal and be one of those dorky women at the gym who carries it around and makes notes as I work out. Record reps, weights, habits, calories burned on cardio machines and overall energy level.

This week’s goals (I usually limit myself to two or three to make them more attainable):
1. Go to the gym 3 times this week, and spend at least 30 minutes of each visit on cardio
2. Have one of those 3 visits be a morning workout – before work on a weekday.
3. Make my arms sore once this week.

This blog will be a place I talk about my setbacks, my efforts at developing a routine, my achievements and generally ramble about fitness. Maybe I’ll post some of the fitness debates that go on in the blogs I read. Maybe I’ll talk about The Biggest Loser, which I’ve become strangely drawn to. Maybe I’ll not post at all during the week and leave everyone hanging. But just watch it, because practically anything could be coming your way.

Wish me the best of luck. And wish my willpower the same, while you’re at it.